It’s easier to keep something secret if you don’t tell anyone else about it.
If your children start asking questions about life insurance, tell them you don’t have any. Also, keep a closer eye on them and take away their knife collections.
If you’re a young cowboy today, I hope someday you’ll grow up to become a real man — not just another cowman.
Life is short. You should try to spend more time working in a cubicle.
If you love something, set it free. Unless it’s a rabid ferret that still holds a grudge against you for putting it in a cage.
There are two kinds of people in the world: pilots and regular folks.
Hand sanitizer is nice for killing germs, but it’s even more effective for letting people know you’re better than them.