It takes two to tango, but it takes only one to turn off the tango music and laugh at the two still doing the tango without music.
No news is good news. Except maybe for news that you won the lottery. That probably still counts as good news, even though it’s news.
All things being equal, the guy who wore pants to the interview usually gets the job.
Use enough big words and the stupid things you say will sound smart to the idiots who hear your pontifications.
It was just another dinner party. Much like the dinner parties we had every month. We invited the same guests we always did. Burton was there, like he always was. But the memorable thing about this dinner party was our new wine glasses. My wife bought them at an antique shop. Everyone agreed they were beautiful wine glasses. Though a few people remarked on how much smaller they were than our old wine glasses.
After the dinner party, we never heard from Burton again. This was strange because we had known Burton for many years and he never missed our dinner parties. Most people blamed the small wine glasses for Burton’s disappearance, but I knew it was because I punched him in the face.
It wasn’t that I hated Burton. I just had to punch him in the face. Know what I mean?
I wonder if when someone says you look like an angel they sometimes mean the angel of death and not one of those nice angels with wings.
I prefer blood baths to bubble baths, but filling the tub for a good blood bath tends to lead to questions I’d rather not answer.