You can’t lose if you don’t show up for the race.
If I could figure out time travel I would send the Burger King back in time to see how many people he could fool into becoming his subjects.
It’s easier to keep something secret if you don’t tell anyone else about it.
Life is short. Can you really say you’ve lived if you haven’t punched a stupid person in the face?
I’m only human — I can’t build a beaver dam for you.
I wasn’t surprised to learn that all Sasquatch love maple syrup. But I was surprised to learn that all Sasquatch aren’t from Canada.
All things being equal, the guy who wore pants to the interview usually gets the job.