If I got caught robbing a bank, I’d tell the police that the Sasquatch standing behind them made me do it. When they turned to look for the Sasquatch I’d run away.
I remember when you could accidentally run over a hobo with your car and the hobo had to become your butler to pay for the repair costs. What happened to this country?
Carnies are mostly like hobos — only a lot more rapey.
You can’t lose if you don’t show up for the race.
Losing weight would be easy if I had a jogging toilet.
They say you should buy low and sell high. That’s good advice, but you can make even more money if you buy lower and sell higher.
As the rats rushed out of the box, stabbing him with their crudely made shivs, he began to think he wasn’t meant to be a scientist after all.