I bought a bear claw at the coffee shop this morning, but I was disappointed by the lack of fur and bear bones.
As a wise man once said, goat milk is the one true milk.
Imagine the life you dream of. Picture every detail and see yourself living it. Now accept that it will never happen and be happy with your box of rats.
No news is good news. Except maybe for news that you won the lottery. That probably still counts as good news, even though it’s news.
If you feel yourself becoming angry with someone, breathe in and count to 10. That should be enough time to come up with a plan for revenge.
Before you throw that dead rat in the garbage, know that it could be used as a perfectly good back scratcher.
I used to like dressing my dog in little hats and coats. Until the day I found him weeping in the corner while the other dogs laughed.