One day I’ll be dead and someone will find this website and say, “Wow! That guy was really stupid. Good thing he’s dead.”
It takes two to tango, but it takes only one to turn off the tango music and laugh at the two still doing the tango without music.
As a child I dreamed of becoming a carny. But my dream died when I grew up and realized I could get paid to clean toilets on highway rest stops instead.
As a wise man once said, goat milk is the one true milk.
If given the choice to be a pilot or a carny, choose pilot.
If you can learn to feel happy when you’re sad, you’ll never have to be sad again. But then I guess you really wouldn’t know the difference between happiness and sadness anymore, which is kind of sad if you think about it.
Bat birth control is a good idea for everyone.