You can’t lose if you don’t show up for the race.
Use enough big words and the stupid things you say will sound smart to the idiots who hear your pontifications.
Carnies are mostly like hobos — only a lot more rapey.
There are two kinds of carnies in the world. The drunk kind and the not-yet-awake kind.
Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill, it will be much easier to make a mountain out of dirt and boulders.
If life gives you lemons, don’t eat them — it’s a trick!
Don’t assume the animal digging through your trash at night is a raccoon. It might just be a carny in a bear suit.