They say we all have our demons, but I decided I didn’t want to keep my demons around anymore so I sold them to a kid for five dollars.
Life is short. You should try to spend more time working in a cubicle.
You can do something today to create the tomorrow of your dreams, assuming you don’t die in your sleep tonight.
If I got caught robbing a bank, I’d tell the police that the Sasquatch standing behind them made me do it. When they turned to look for the Sasquatch I’d run away.
Robbing a bank may be illegal, but you can’t say it isn’t a fast way to make some money.
I used to love grave dancing until the time a zombie hand reached through the ground and grabbed my leg. That took most of the fun out of it for me.
You haven’t really lived until you’ve choked the life out of a carny with your own bare hands.