Use enough big words and the stupid things you say will sound smart to the idiots who hear your pontifications.
Strike when the iron is hot. You’ll probably burn yourself, but apparently that is the best time to strike the iron.
I bought a bear claw at the coffee shop this morning, but I was disappointed by the lack of fur and bear bones.
Want to lose weight quickly? Do you really need two arms?
As a wise man once said, goat milk is the one true milk.
The early bird catches a worm, but the smart bird builds a worm farm.
He who hesitates is lost. Unless he hesitates before walking in front of a moving bus, that might save his life.