Imagine the life you dream of. Picture every detail and see yourself living it. Now accept that it will never happen and be happy with your box of rats.
If you chase two rabbits, you will lose them both. But at least you’ll look good in your shiny new rabbit chasing shoes.
Bat birth control is a good idea for everyone.
We still have cowboys, but where did all the goatboys go?
An alpaca is the poor man’s unicorn.
I bought a bear claw at the coffee shop this morning, but I was disappointed by the lack of fur and bear bones.
A white rat is the poor man’s poodle.
I’m only human — I can’t build a beaver dam for you.
When going to a Rat Circus bring plenty of cheese. Of course, by cheese I mean rat poison. Trust me, you’ll want to kill those rats just like I did.
Before you throw that dead rat in the garbage, know that it could be used as a perfectly good back scratcher.