I’m not alone in thinking that raccoons are the carnies of the animal world.
When camping, keep food away from your tent so you don’t attract bears. Keep your beer even further away to avoid carnies.
If given the choice to be a pilot or a carny, choose pilot.
Once I had a dream I was a carny. But then I woke up and was relieved to find instead I had died and gone to hell.
If you support equal rights for carnies, you must hate America.
As a child I dreamed of becoming a carny. But my dream died when I grew up and realized I could get paid to clean toilets on highway rest stops instead.
Once you’ve failed at everything else in life, it’s probably time to become a carny.
There’s no faster way to get yourself murdered than by making friends with a carny.
Ask any carny — a corn dog isn’t just batter fried meat on a stick — it’s the filet mignon of the carnival world.