I used to love grave dancing until the time a zombie hand reached through the ground and grabbed my leg. That took most of the fun out of it for me.
You can do something today to create the tomorrow of your dreams, assuming you don’t die in your sleep tonight.
Flushing a dead fish down the toilet is like throwing your dead uncle down a water slide that leads to the sewer.
I prefer blood baths to bubble baths, but filling the tub for a good blood bath tends to lead to questions I’d rather not answer.
You might think your life is hard, but it could always be worse — just ask Frank. Oh wait, Frank is dead.
We are still masters of our fate. Just hope that fate doesn’t kill you before you read this.
They say that time is on your side, but I say it’s still going to kill you some day.
I miss lawn darts. Where else can you get a fun toy and harbinger of death in one package?
To achieve your goals, write them down and read them every day. Unless your goal is to die lonely and broke. Don’t write that one down.
If you knew you were going to die today, what would you do differently? Now that you know, you can avoid doing it and live.