The sharper the pencil, the more eyes lost to pencil mishaps.
Bat birth control is a good idea for everyone.
The mouth part of the face is the loudest part of the face.
If you don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, you’re probably just in a cave.
Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll eat until the fish figure out what he’s doing to them.
You can’t sit on a cactus like it’s your couch, but you can put your couch outside like it’s a cactus.
I prefer blood baths to bubble baths, but filling the tub for a good blood bath tends to lead to questions I’d rather not answer.
If department stores used hobos for mannequins, the hobos could get free clothes and the stores could save money on mannequin maintenance.
I can’t prove that this website just saved your life, but you can’t prove that it didn’t.
You’ll have a new perspective on life after falling into an outhouse toilet hole.